You made a guest appearance in my dream the other night. It was nice to see you and hear you. I was so afraid that I forgot what you sounded like, but I remember. You looked and sounded like you. You told me that everything was going to be okay. I am going to trust you and believe that everything will be okay. I don't know how, but I will believe it to be true.
I think I have been closed off for you to make an appearance, I don't think I was ready. I have known you are here, I just don't think I was ready to see and hear you. I know you will always be here, this is just so damn difficult Keith.
I feel so lost, empty and broken. I try so hard to carry on with my days, but it is difficult. There are days I just want to stay in bed and not care about what is going on. BUT I know you would kick my ass for that. I can't believe it has been 8 weeks. Keith 8 fucking weeks. It seems to be not so long ago, yet forever ago.
I am trying to be a better me. I want to make you proud, even if it is difficult to go about my days most days. I get to go back home in 3 days. I'm gonna make another trip over to the cemetery, I promise to stay longer this time. I need to spend some time, get some clarity. Going home in 3 days though means that Thanksgiving is right around the corner...so Keith, please watch over us, this is going to be a difficult time. We all miss you so much and we love you so much, this is difficult because of how much we love you. And I promise you that love will never change, and if it does, it will only continue to grow.
I miss you big brother...watch over us all, and show us you're watching over us.
Love Always,
Nikki
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