It's been four weeks...it feels like it was just this morning. I wake up in my bed hoping it is Sept 25, 2011. That I just had a nightmare, that the last four weeks were just a nightmare. That in a few short weeks you will be carving the Thanksgiving turkey. I just wish it was a nightmare, I wish that today was Sept 25, and I never got that phone call. Every morning I play the same game, hoping and praying that is that Sunday morning. Then I remember that it isn't a nightmare, it is real life. You are really gone. This isn't fair not at all. I just miss you.
The sky was gorgeous today, and I feel like you are up there setting up beautiful pictures. If you can't take the pictures anymore, you are going to set them up from up there. I've never really knew what I believed as far as the afterlife, but I now know that I do believe. I need to believe you are somewhere. You are still here, and I need to believe that too.
People are taking it hard, and there are days when we cry and that just has to be okay. You meant a lot, to a lot of people. We just can't forget overnight. At least the people you meant the most to, we can't forget overnight. This is going to be a lifelong battle. Each day is a new challenge...some days we are going to succeed, and there are days when we are going to fail.
I just can't believe it's been four weeks...when I go home to Lancaster, I plan on visiting. Maybe even bring a sweet tea for you to have while we visit. I miss you big brother.
Love,
Nikki
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